


The Best/Worst Wingwoman

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: RWBY
Genre: Background Bumbleby, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 17:30:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11491212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: The lesson here is to never take advice from Yang. Even if it works.





	The Best/Worst Wingwoman

"Hey Weiss." Yang was laying on the floor of team RWBY's dorm room, playing around with Zwei. Both Ruby and Blake were out of the room, which left her alone with Weiss. It was the perfect opportunity to relay some important information. "I learned something really important yesterday."

Weiss sighed and lowered the book she was reading, looking down at Yang. "And what might that be?"

"Someone has a big ol' crush on Ruby."

"Huh." Weiss went right back to reading her book, though she felt less comfortable than before. Who had a crush on Ruby? They had some nerve, thinking they were good enough for her. It was probably some idiot like Jaune, or... or Blake. She knew better than to trust a member of the White Fang.

"In fact..." Yang set Zwei down and moved over towards Weiss, leaning in conspiratorially. "That person is in this group." Weiss started to blush, getting a sinking feeling that she knew exactly what Yang was talking about. Like hell would she admit it, though.

"Well I hope she and Blake are happy, then." Despite knowing that Yang could see the blush burning on her face, she kept reading her book and pretending that the truth wasn't the most obvious thing on the planet. She couldn't even concentrate on her book. "If that's all you have to tell me, then please let me continue reading."

"Oh Weiss, you're adorable when you're lying." She ruffled Weiss's hair, making her recoil in annoyance. "Between you and me, aliens could see your crush from space."

"Wh-What? No way!" Refusing to drop her book in shock, Weiss put her bookmark on the page she was going to leave off on, then closed the book and put it down. At that point, she could stare at Yang with wide eyes. "I don't believe you!" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I thought I was being so discreet..."

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"No you can't." Despite all the evidence mounting against her, she remained defiant to the bitter end. "You have no proof that I feel anything but begrudging admiration towards Ruby."

"Weiss, I know you think nobody notices you staring at her every second of the day, but I notice." Yang rolled her eyes, putting her hands on Weiss's shoulders. "You might as well wear a t-shirt that says 'I love Ruby Rose' on it." She grinned, winking at her friend. "And instead of 'love', it's a heart."

"How... H-How dare..." She was sputtering out her words, her entire face having gone completely red. "D-Don't you... Don't you dare tell anyone! Especially not Ruby!"

"So you're admitting you like Ruby, then?"

"Okay yes, fine, fine! I like Ruby, okay?! Are you happy?!" Weiss grumbled and folded her arms under her chest, not amused in the slightest at having been found out. "If you're going to tease me, then hurry it up so I can get back to reading."

"While that's tempting, I'd rather help you." That more than anything caught Weiss off guard. She even stopped thinking about the near future, when she could be ignoring Yang and getting lost in her the world of her book.

"Wait, you want to... help me?" Weiss looked at Yang curiously, then leaned forward and stared right into her eyes. "You aren't going to try and stop me from liking your sister?"

"Why would I do that?" Yang seemed genuinely confused at Weiss's concern. "You're one of my best friends. You'd be perfect for Ruby!" Weiss started to blush all over again, pulling herself back and looking at the bedspread.

"That... wasn't what I expected. You're not going to give me the whole 'if you harm a hair on my sister's head...' bit?"

"Nah, I don't need to do that." Yang laughed, picking Zwei up and standing. "Ruby would kick your butt if you ever tried anything."

"H-Hey, she would not! I'm perfectly capable of defeating Ruby!"

"Sure sure, whatever you say." It was clear that Yang didn't believe a word she said, though. "Now come on, I need to teach you how to take a girl on a first date."

"Really? How many first dates have you been on, exactly?" Not that Weiss didn't believe Yang would flaunt her 'mature' body around to grab herself a few dates, she just wanted to not be the only one there that was being flustered.

"Oh, enough to be pretty good at them." She turned around and grinned at Weiss, putting her hands on her hips. "Remember when we were doing that training session in that classroom that Ruby said was haunted?"

"Yeah... The one she said had ghosts in it because there were all those... moans..." Weiss covered her face with her hands. "Please don't say what I think you're going to say."

"Blake doesn't just purr when you pet her. There are certain places-"

"I don't want to hear it!"

* * *

"Alright, so what magical wisdom are you prepared to bestow upon me?" Weiss rolled her eyes as she sat down across from Yang at the restaurant table. "Is it to do it on the first date?"

"Oh no, not at all. That's on the third date." The two of them ordered drinks, then Yang leaned over on the table and got down to business. "Alright, so first, take her to a nice restaurant. Talk to her about your interests. Open up to her, and let her see that you're more interesting than just an prissy ice queen."

"I'll have you know that I'm plenty interesting! Earlier, before you so rudely interrupted me, I was reading-"

"Bzzzt! Wrong answer, kiddo."

"I'm the same age as you-"

"Books are very boring. So is anything to do with learning. Well, learning things that aren't fighting." At that point, their drinks came, which Yang took with a thanks and a big swig. "So maybe talk about something else, like... ooh, how rich you are. Tell her about how big your house is and how well-known the Schnees are or whatever."

"That just seems really shallow, doesn't it?" Weiss took a sip of her drink, sighing softly. This was not the good advice she was hoping for. Then again, should she have expected decent advice at all? This was Yang she was talking about.

"Well, it's better to talk about that on a first date than your icy personality or your family issues." Weiss looked absolutely affronted. "Aw c'mon, I'm kidding... kind of. I would say be yourself, but you might scare her off."

"S-Screw you!" She huffed angrily, crossing her arms. "I act the same way every day, and I don't see Ruby running away! In fact, she keeps jumping on me and clinging to..." She noticed the curious glint in Yang's eyes. "You stop thinking like that right this second."

"You know what? I like that confidence!" The waiter came over then, interrupting her. She ordered her food, then whispered to Weiss, "Be confident without being cocky. Don't become a stuttering mess like you usually are when it comes to Ruby." The waiter looked down at Weiss, who was trying her best to not become that same, stuttering mess.

"Ignore her," Weiss muttered, ordering her own food. "She talks to herself." Yang just grinned at her, so Weiss took her own advice and ignored her. That eventually failed to work, and the rest of their time at the restaurant was spent discussing further dos and don'ts of first dates. They were mostly silent when their food came out, though, which suited Weiss just fine. She was a touch insulted that Yang thought she didn't know how to romance someone... and she was a bit insulted that some of the ideas she hadn't thought of.

"Alright, now one more important thing about taking someone out on a date. You should pay for their meal."

"What? Why wouldn't we pay for our own meals?"

"It's polite. Besides, you're rich. What does it matter to you?"

"It's the principle of the matter!" Weiss sighed and slumped back in her chair. "Yes, I can pay for two meals. I can pay for the whole dang restaurant! That's not the point, though. Why do I have to pay when Ruby's surely capable of paying for herself?"

"It's just common courtesy, Weiss. Usually the man pays for dinner."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a man."

"Clearly. You don't have the shoulders for it." Before Weiss got riled up again, she pressed on. "Well, with two girls on a date, then I guess the strongest one would have to pay. Hmm... You know, you're probably right. Ruby should pay." It was hard not to start grinning. She knew this would get Weiss worked up, and by the looks of it, it was. "After all, she's definitely stronger than you."

"Are you still bringing this up?" Weiss growled, putting her hands on the table and leaning in closer. "I told you that I could beat Ruby, so that means I'm definitely the stronger one! I should be the one to pay!" Hook, line, and sucker.

"Well, if you're sure about that..." Finishing up her food so that she didn't accidentally start to laugh, she noticed the waiter approaching them again. "So what about me, huh? You think you could beat me in a fight?"

"Hmpf, absolutely!"

"Well, alright then." The waiter came over and placed the check down on the table. "Then I guess you'll be paying for our meal, then."

"Wha... Huh? Hey!"

* * *

"You want to see this movie? Really?" Out of all the movies they could see, Weiss had thought Yang would want to see something with a lot of action. Instead, she had chosen what had to be the sappiest romantic movie she'd heard of in recent years. That was so out of left field, it might as well have been on another continent. "I didn't take you to be the romantic type."

"I'm not. No one goes to see a romantic movie on a date because they're into this kinda stuff. Well, except maybe Pyrrha." They were standing near the ticket counter, looking at the various movie times on the light-up board. "You're supposed to go there because it's so boring, that you eventually have no choice but to do other things."

"Like what?"

"Make out. Duh."

"Wh-What?" Weiss felt her face begin to heat up, turning to gape at Yang. "Why would we make out in the theater?!"

"Wow, you really have never been on a date, huh? Do you need me to teach you how to make out?"

"A-Absolutely not! I'll have you know that I'm an excellent kisser."

"Really?" Yang couldn't help but laugh, smirking down at Weiss. "Who have you kissed?"

"... That's irrelevant." She turned pointedly away from Yang and went up towards the ticket booth, only to turn around and realize that she wasn't being followed. "Well? Are we seeing the movie or what?"

"Nah, I don't want to see that stupid movie. Come on, let's go to the arcade." She started to walk towards the arcade, leaving Weiss little choice but to follow her. What was the point of going to the theater if they were just going to play silly games instead?

"So how exactly is you playing a racing game going to teach me about dating?"

"It's going to teach you patience." Yang had headed right for a motorcycle racing game as soon as she traded some money for tokens, putting in enough token to start it up. She then started to race her AI opponents, pushing buttons on the handlebars. "Aww c'mon, I hit that guy! Okay, so maybe this isn't date training."

"I'm shocked."

"But we don't need to go into the theater for you to know what to do. If you're too nervous to make out with her, then take her to a horror movie or something. Ah wait, never mind- Yeah! Take that, skull guy! I forgot, she doesn't really get scared by horror movies. Just let her pick the movie. Then..."

"... Then what?"

"Shh." Yang was concentrating on the game, leaning her fake motorcycle to the side, then the other way. Sighing, Weiss looked at the screen. Yang had gotten into second place, and she was approaching first quickly. Didn't she have a real motorcycle, though? Why would she want to bother with a fake game version when she could just ride the real thing?

"Alright, alright... Yes! First place!" Yang hollered out, slapping the handlebars before raising her arms in triumph. "The winner, and still champion: Yang Xiao Long!"

"While that's great and all, you didn't finish your sentence." Rolling her eyes, Weiss crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. "What exactly am I supposed to do after letting her choose the movie?"

"Oh, right." Since getting first place got her a free game, Yang didn't bother getting off of the bike. "Just hold her hand. Buy some popcorn and when you see her reach for it, 'accidentally' reach for it at the same time. That always works, I'm pretty sure."

"How can it always work if you're only pretty sure about it?"

"Are you really questioning my knowledge?" Yang was only paying half attention again due to starting her next race. "Just trust me, alright. Make sure to get close to her. If you're doing good, you'll definitely succeed in the final step."

"And what's the final step?"

"That'll be taught when I'm finished with my racing." The two went silent after that, with Weiss impatiently watching Yang race and win again, getting yet another free game.

"Are you really going to keep racing?"

"We're still learning patience, Weiss."

"No we're not! I'm just learning how to be mad at you!"

* * *

They got home later than expected. It was probably due to Yang getting first place five times in a row. In total boredom, Weiss had wandered around the entire arcade, listlessly moving all the joysticks like she was actually playing them. Maybe she needed advice from someone else. Was this really something that Blake was interested in? She couldn't imagine her being that interested in games either.

"Alright, so your final lesson." Yang walked to the door of the academy, stopping and looking around. "... Huh, this seems weirder without us having driven here. It's not really the same, you know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Eh, it doesn't matter. Okay, come over here." Sighing, Weiss reluctantly complied, walking over towards Yang. "Now, if you go on a date with Ruby, you'll probably take her back to the dorm room. She's probably going to say that she had a good time before you go inside. At that point you should kiss her. Just lean in and give her a good ol' smooch!"

"Again with the kissing?" She wasn't blushing because it was such a shameless act, though. No, she was blushing because the thought of kissing Ruby felt a little too good. Her lips did seem really soft and kissable. Had Ruby ever kissed someone before?

"Look Weiss, I know you've probably only kissed your teddy bear or something, so I'll show you how it's done." Before Weiss could argue, Yang put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in, their faces way too close to one another. Freaking out, Weiss let out a yelp and shoved a hand in Yang's face.

"Wh-What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Showing you how to seal the deal. You are listening, right?" Yang scoffed, stepping back to get Weiss's hand out of her face. "You go for that kiss after a successful date."

"That's what I'm supposed to do with Ruby! We didn't go on a date!"

"Oh? We had dinner, which you paid for. We went to the movies, and then you took me home, where we nearly kissed right here. That sounds like a date to me."

"No way! I... I mean, we..." Weiss stood stock-still, eyes widening with realization. "We went on a date?! You took my first date!" Upset now, she punched Yang hard in the shoulder. "How dare you!"

"Hey, ow, quit it! I was just kidding, Weiss! It's not an official date, jeez!" She rubbed her shoulder, surprised that such a small girl could pack that much punch. "I'm just showing you how to woo my sister, that's all. No need to go psycho on me."

"Yeah, yeah... I'd tell Blake if you kissed me, anyway." She sighed, then looked back up at Yang. "But hey, uh, thanks... for the advice, that is."

"No problem!" She gave Weiss a thumbs up, grinning. "I'm heading to the cafeteria now. All that fake dating made me hungry."

"Wait a minute!" Weiss stopped her before she could leave. "You gave me all this advice on how to go on a date with Ruby, but you didn't tell me how to actually ask her out on a date."

"Hmm... You're right." Yang leaned against the door, rubbing her chin in thought. "Well, let me think about that, okay? I'll give you some advice tonight."

"Alright, but don't you dare forget."

* * *

Later that night, team RWBY were all in their dorm. Ruby and Yang were playing with Zwei, while Blake and Weiss were reading in their respective beds. After some amount of relative quiet, Weiss looked up and caught Yang's stare. Yang gave her a thumbs up, which confused Weiss. She mouthed, 'What?'

'Don't worry.' Yang let Zwei pad over towards Ruby, leaning back on her hands and making sure she could look at everyone in the room. "So Weiss has a crush on Ruby." That got a reaction. Everyone's attention instantly snapped towards Yang, with a wide range of expressions.

"What the hell, Yang?! I told you not to tell her!"

"Huh, really? Well, alright then."

"R-Really?" Ruby's wide eyes stared in disbelief at her sister, then she turned and looked at Weiss, who was burning with a mix of fury and embarrassment. "You like me, Weiss?"

"A-Ah, well, I mean, I..." She made eye contact with Yang again, who gave her a grin and another thumbs up. Yang was going to meet an unfortunate end for this, mark her words. For now, however, she was caught. She was too ensnared to lie at this point. "Uh, yeah fine, I, uh... I do." She whispered this last part, as if it mattered that Blake, who had already heard what Yang said, didn't hear it again.

Ruby gawked at her, then broke out into a huge smile. "Oh wow, Weiss likes me!" She jumped onto her feet and rushed towards the bed, tackling Weiss and giving her a tight hug. "This is great! Does this mean you're gonna ask me out on a date?!"

"I was about to, alright?! Get off me so I can ask you out already!" Watching the two 'lovebirds' interacting, Yang laughed and went over to Blake, grinning up at her.

"So, I think this earns me best wingwoman of the year, don't you think?"

"I'm not sure if Weiss feels the same way you do." Yang looked at Weiss, who was still in the process of being hugged by Ruby. The two of them made eye contact, followed by Weiss running a finger across her throat.

"I'm tellin' ya, Blake. I get no respect around here."

"It's a shame."


End file.
